I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
