A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
