PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
