What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
