I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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