Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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