haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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