i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
