Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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