Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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