I skipped work to stalk him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
