i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
