Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
