That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
