I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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