I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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