who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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