I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
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I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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