I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My feet surprised me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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