u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize