Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
