So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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