That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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