I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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