So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
