oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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