So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
