we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
