Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
