just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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