I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
