Even the bartender felt bad for me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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