she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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