i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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