The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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