so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
