Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
