I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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