This girl is more easily done than said...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
