Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
