Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
