hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
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He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing