The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.