the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.