I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??