The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
