Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.