I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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