I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
