At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
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You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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