It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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