butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
