6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
