i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Alive.
So much puke
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
