The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
