I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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