duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
