I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
