i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
