official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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