VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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