Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
COCAINE IS GR8
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
