his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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