I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Houston, we have a squirter
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize