there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
