Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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