Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
