I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize