she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize