You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
