yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
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You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am available for nakedness
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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