my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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