It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
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HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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