$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize