Dual....:-)
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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